Predictions for 2014


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Randy Charach Comedy Psychic - Let's Start off this Blog and the New Year with my Predictions For 2014!

I wrote these predictions in preparation for an appearance on News Now, on HLN (formerly CNN Headline News). It's kind of a funny story, actually. One of the producers of the program asked me to do some predictions in my comedic style, fun and upbeat.

I was all prepared with my predictions and ready to go live via Skype from my location in Hawaii. Moments before we aired, they asked if I could be available for 2 segments, rather 1, and the prediction segment isn't going to be done at all. No problem! Hey, I'm a professional, old school one at that. Anyway, you can see those segments here.

Here are the predictions:

My first prediction is the world will end soon; but then Google will update the software and everything will be okay again.

A video game developer will create a revolutionary gaming system that allows players to interact with friends, get exercise, and play different sports. It's called Outside and available everywhere now.

No longer satisfied by giving away cars, Obamacare will be replaced by Oprahcare.

For anyone wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election. Let me just put it this way, after Canada becomes the 51st State, I have just three words for you – President Rob Ford.

For those of you who missed it, Snoop Dog changed his name to Snoop Lion, and now I think he's changed it again to SnoopZilla, I predict next he will join the hollywood rage of getting lip injections and forever be known as Snoop Duck.

Pope Francis will continue to defy the expectations of the public. He took to tweeting in 2013, in 2014 I predict he'll try twerking.

I predict in 2019 people will receive their 2013 christmas deliveries from UPS.

Justin Beiber will come out of retirement to do commercials promoting "Depends".

These are one's I wrote but were only going to be if I needed extra's:

Kayne West will get laryngitis and be unable to speak for a week. TMZ will go out of business having nothing to report.

After Jimmy Fallon has the Tonight Show for six weeks, Jay Leno takes over when an anonymous tip come in that Fallon is stealing office supplies.

Edward Snowdon will accept political asylum in the fictional country of Xanadu and become it's secretary of defence.

Someone will put up a website for you to hire someone to shop online for you. The scary thing about this is that it might already exist. Even scarier some of you think it's a good idea.

Tweeting will be replaced by people yelling out their viewpoints on the spot. And… Facebook will be replaced by a new concept called "Phone Me and Talk".

Phil Roberston of Duck Dynasty will marry Ellen and their new show will be called Duck Degeneres.

There'll be new show called ‘So You Think you can Twerk', hosted by Miley Cyrus.

Someone will predict the end of the world. Most of us will know it's a lie, but some of us will still go to the store the day of and buy water and toilet paper. Just in case.

Hope you enjoyed these, and none of them come true!

Randy Charach

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